excuse¶

Generate programmer excuses.

Synopsis¶

tofu excuse [flags]

Description¶

Generate random programmer excuses for when things go wrong. A comprehensive collection of time-tested developer explanations.

Flags¶

Flag	Short	Description	Default
`--count`	`-n`	Number of excuses to generate	`1`

Examples¶

Get an excuse:

tofu excuse
# Output: It works on my machine.

Get multiple excuses:

tofu excuse -n 5
# Output:
# That's not a bug, it's a feature.
# It must be a caching issue.
# The tests passed locally.
# It's probably a race condition.
# DNS.

Sample Excuses¶

It works on my machine.
That's not a bug, it's a feature.
It must be a caching issue.
Have you tried clearing your cache?
It worked yesterday.
Someone must have changed something.
It's a known issue.
The tests passed locally.
It's probably cosmic rays.
The requirements were unclear.
We'll fix it in v2.
Git blame says it wasn't me.
It's a timezone issue.
The CI/CD pipeline is flaky.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
The logs don't show anything.
It only happens under load.
Someone deployed without telling me.

Pro Tips¶

Combine with other commands:

# Excuse of the day
tofu excuse | tofu cowsay

# Rainbow excuse
tofu excuse | tofu lolcat